matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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