i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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