either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
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I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
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There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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