I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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