I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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