I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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