we're blogging at a bar
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
