I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
