we're blogging at a bar
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize