Nicole vs. Life
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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