oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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