I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Blood and glitter go together right?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
