He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
