508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Four minutes until I can fart!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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