we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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