My brain says no but my pants say off.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
