had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
