I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
