She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
