Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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