I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Who died my cat blue again?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize