I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
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Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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