im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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