my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
