I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
