New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
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It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
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I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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