So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
