I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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