I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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