Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
