At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You are a genius and a whore.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
