I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
