i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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