Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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