I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize