having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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