this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize