Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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