Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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