sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
