best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
