Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
