I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
