Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
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She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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