i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize