I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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