I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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