drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
