spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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