New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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