Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
