just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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