thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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