OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
